Celebrate Gratitude

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ABHA IYENGAR

Well, there it is.

When the initial euphoria and passion are over, most relationships settle down into a period of contentment, acceptance and understanding. But, to reach such stage — of understanding and — contentment, a lot of adjustments are required.

Two individuals have to learn to live with each other and each other’s respective idiosyncrasies — and, all of us have one, or the other.

A case in point is your partner has to listen to loud music in order to sleep.

You need to develop patience and understanding — more than that, what is needed is an attitude of gratitude.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

What generally happens is that love takes a back-seat when practical issues crop up. Instead of living with oneself, one is also adjusting to the needs and desires of another human being. During such a time, when two people in a relationship begin to see the less attractive side of their partners and negativism raises its ugly head, it helps to count the blessings and enumerate all the things that make a relationship beautiful. By doing this, and looking at the positive side, and being grateful for it, you will help save the relationship from hurtling downhill — and, for the partners from turning their backs to each other.

SHOW YOUR GRATITUDE

Feeling grateful is just a step in the right direction. Saying and doing things to show how thankful you are to have your partner with you, in your life, makes the relationship grow and endure. The little things count. Like telling your partner how much you appreciate the fact that s/he takes the time to drop you to work every day, so that you don’t have to run for the bus and you are able to reach your workplace in time — and, in good shape, as well as in good humour. Or, you could be cooking that special dish when s/he returns from work. Appreciating and valuing the good things in the relationship, and the good points in your partner, help in creating a happy environment between the two of you and in keeping irritation and disagreements at bay.

SORT THE DIFFERENCES

It is not that differences can be skimmed over; they have to be worked out with purpose. However, differences should not be allowed to grow and irk to such an extent that the relationship loses its meaning. You need to seek a common ground. This can only happen if the partners are grateful to have each other to love and cherish, and be willing to sort out the habits and behaviour patterns that annoy and jolt.

The next time you wish to scream at your partner for having left the bathroom door open, stop yourself and tell yourself how lucky you are to have someone to share your life with. To have someone by your side as you walk this lonely road called life. A smile will replace your frown. Most probably, you will quietly shut the bathroom door yourself and feel happy that you did not allow your temper to get the better of you and/or your relationship.

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