True Friendship

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RAJGOPAL NIDAMBOOR

When we practice affirmations, our mind and body understands the ‘you’ better, not so much the ‘I’ of things. “You will be strong” is often more effective than “I will be strong.” Our psyche takes this affirmed connotation more seriously. In like manner, there is something called neediness that propels us to get others tell us that we are good and worthy, rather than telling oneself and believing that one is good and capable. This is, in other words, akin to telling someone else to fill our plate and derive strength from them. Put simply, this amounts to understanding the fact that all of us have an infinite ability to turn things successfully — provided one really wants to. It just takes a thought to battle our feelings of shortfall, isolation or lack of support.

All of us need someone to bank upon — most often these are our friends, or companions. True friends have an enormous readiness to support us through thick and thin. They can be concerned; they can also be direct. When we think we might fail, or tremble under pressure, such friends can change our thoughts and our flawed vision. Picture this candid riposte, “You are your own monster or shadow. It’s up to you to tame or learn to live with it.”

Most of us seek a sense of warmth in friendships — because, we are concerned of being alone. This is the bulwark of relationship dynamics — it helps us to surmount odds, loss, depression and hopelessness. True friendships blossom when we seek to nurture oneself and the other person. It works best when it functions as a two-way traffic sign. Once this happens, it creates a whole, new sense of completeness — of friendship that lasts a lifetime.

True friendship is a tree with deep roots — it has strong values. It helps us to believe not only in the other person, a friend, but also oneself. It bolsters our self-confidence — because all of us have an inner need to connect with success. You’d call this the seamless integration of the sum of the parts with the whole — a holistic quintessence. Life is full of ups and downs, so thank a friend for being there always.

It is not that all of us make great friends. There are some people who may have fewer friends than one would like. It is all a question of synchronicity and timing. Sometimes, we make friends out of strangers who we feel know us for ages. Conversely, a close childhood friend may drift, owing to circumstances, and appear distant. The best way to make friendships is to have a positive frame of mind. With nurturing emerges a great relationship — a friend who matters, a friend who is just as committed as you are to nourish a friendship and a friend whose only motivation is friendship. True friends partake, or celebrate, others’ success, achievement, or accomplishment. They don’t feel envious, or let-down, when they don’t reach, match, or attain equal or illustrious heights.

What makes friendship a divine constituent is most of us have a mysterious ability to sense the neediness in others. This is nature’s proviso — even when one does not explain — to fill certain gaps inside oneself or the other person. It is not that wanting to be helped and wanting to help others are the two sides of the same coin. Most of us take a keen interest in helping those who can help themselves and, in the process, achieve success. The reason being — it takes just a little prop from a friend to feel confident and turnaround problems into winning stories.

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